BEFORE YOU START ANYTHING, LEARN HOW TO FINISH IT.
Have you ever stop to wonder what makes a relationship work. Do you ever wonder why is it that some couples can build decades together while some cant? Maintaining a relationships is not always easy. Most successful ones thrive on more than just love. It is not a matter of people being made for each other but whether they want to continue being together and most importantly; what they do to stay together. I admire my grandparents who are in their late 80s and have been married for over five decades. In fact, when I grow up, I want to be like them. Below is a successful relationship alphabetized.
A is for APPRECIATION: Everyone likes to be told and shown some form of appreciation outside of a birthday or Christmas. One can show their partner appreciation for the smallest of things. Appreciative gestures do not cost much. In fact, many of them are totally free.
B is for BENEVOLENCE Couples should continuously display genuine compassion, consideration, cooperation and kindness towards each other without any self benefits to be derived.
C is for CONSISTENCY : In order for relationships to be successful, consistency is the key. I’m not talking about being consistently inconsistent . I’m talking about consistently doing whatever makes your partner happy, contented, loved and appreciated.
D is for DEMONSTRATION. There is a saying that one has to model how they want to be treated. This is true in any relationship. If a person wants their partner to treat them in a certain way they sometimes have to first show them how it is done. Do not take it for granted that the other person knows exactly how you want to be treated or can read your mind.
E if for EQUALITY : Some men and women believe that since God ordained the man to be the head of the house then the female takes second place. Well, I’ve got news for you. No partner is greater than the other. Each should be treated fairly and have equal status, rights and responsibilities in the relationship as we are now living in the 21st Century.
F is FORGIVENESS : Baggage is often heavy. Yet, many of us insist on holding on to them in our relationships. Once this happens, it will only make both parties miserable and pull apart. Therefore, if one partner falls out of line then the correct thing to do is to let go of the situation, forgive the person and move on together, if it is that you truly wants the relationship to work. Remember, no one is perfect.
G is for GODLINESS: God should the head of every household and by extension, every relationship. He should be the main pillar or stone of which every relationship is built. Through practicing godliness, God will influence the love we show our significant other and help us to pursue his will in the relationship. The family that prays together, stays together.
H is for HABITUATION : Everyone has flaws. No one is perfect. As a result, each individual should make a concerted effort to get accustom to some of their significant other’s flaws. I know some flaws or habits can be overbearing, but who doesn’t have them. It makes no sense we complain about them daily. Do you believe that all your family members, friends or co workers like all your practices or habits NO! However, not everyone will simply give up on you because of your flaws.
I is for INDULGENCE : Have you ever seen how wine or chocolate lovers indulge themselves in fine wine or luscious chocolate? Well, the same is for a relationship. Whenever partners indulge each other, not only will their “ship” and life be happier but also healthier as one less stress a day keeps the doctor away. Partners can indulge themselves in a relationship by spoiling each other and be willing to give up certain wants and needs to make their partner happy, comfortable and feel loved and appreciated.
J is for JUSTIFICATION. It’s human nature to worry or become overly concerned. Therefore, our actions should reflect certain tendencies that will not cause our significant other to worry or become suspicious. Our actions and words should also be a true reflection of who we really are. In doing this, partners do not have to second guess each other’s motive or acquire investigative journalism skills to see if the other is speaking the truth or acting in accordance with their expectations whenever they are out of sight.
K is for KITTENISH: All relationships should be lively. Even if you are together for decades, both persons in the relationship have to keep up that liveliness. It doesn’t hurt to flirt with your significant other as this can help to keep the love flames burning.
L is for LOYALTY: Your partner should be your ride or die chick. Each person in the relationship should always feel as if they have the support of the other, no matter what. This is why in the court of law a husband and wife, in most instances, cannot testify against each other. Too often in relationships we do not have each others back but that of our friends.
M is for MOTIVATOR : Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. He or she should always be there willing you to go on even when you have doubts.
N is for NEWNESS :Most persons are more appreciative of something when it is new. Have you ever seen how a man cherishes his brand new car or how a female dotes on her new heels? For some, the most memorable part of the relationship is when both persons met and they felt brand new. However, when the newness in the relationship wears off, life together becomes a routine. Partners should make a concerted effort to show each other the same amount of attention and love like they did when they first met. This is important if they want to keep up that sense of newness that they experience when they first met.
O is for OPTIMISM : No one wants to be around someone who is like an airbag filled with negativity. Even if the light at the end of the tunnel is not visible, both partners have to believe in each other that every step forward will take them closer to the light.
P is for PERSERVERANCE : There are some folks who do not believe that when they fall they should brush themselves off and try again. This is evident in some relationships where at the first sign of a disagreement, one person is ready to sever ties. Relationships do not work like this. As previously stated, a relationship takes a lot of work. It’s not a one shot where you get it right the first time. You sometimes have to take multiple shots and misses before your get it right.
Q is for QUALIFIED. IF you are administering an injection then one should be in the medical field. Therefore, if one is in a relationship you should seek to have the attributes that make you qualified to be in one. One cannot bear the name and not play the game. So word of advice, do things for your partner that only a partner should do. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT think of a particular job or activity to be that of his mother or her father’s job. Both of your are in that ship together not family or friends.
R is for RESPECT: Respect bigots respect. When there is a shortage of respect in a relationship it leads to resentment and other negative things which further leads to a breakdown in your ship. Often times we take our significant other for granted and show everyone but them respect.
S is for SATISFACTION : The number one problem in most relationships is that some persons can never be satisfied whether it be sexually or with the person they have. They always want more and believe that they can always get better. This tendency often causes one or both partners to be constantly looking over the fence in search of greener grass. What they don’t know is that their grass, no matter how dry it is, has the ability to become green, if they spend time watering it. Word of advice, not every thing that glitters is gold. Therefore, let’s try and mould our partner into what we want he or she to become.
T is for TRUSTWORTHINESS : Trust is one of the main ingredients in any relationship. Therefore, each partner should display the ability to always be relied on as being honest. Once trust is lost , it can never be regained 80% of the time.
U is for UBIQUITOUS : Whew! This one is difficult but we have to try and balance our life, which relies heavily on having the ability to multi-task. Often times partners pay attention to everything and everyone else but their spouse. However, no matter how burdened you are with work or household chores, you have to focus on your significant other . We cannot put them aside for later until the task at hand is completed or after an objective is met. Remember, if you don’t do it, someone else will.
V is for VENT : In every relationship partners will have disagreements. If not, then I guess that, that relationship is too good to be true. Rather than keep your frustration, anger or annoyance bottled up inside, it is good to talk about it with your significant other. Do not always run to friends or family members with every problem that arises with your partner. Talk with your partner and say what you think or feel then discuss the way forward.
W is for WISDOM. It seems as if this attribute has become extinct or dormant. However, persons in a relationship should seek to activate this rare gem. Once this is done, both partners will be able to make logical decisions and think of their partner before they act. Sometimes all this takes to be activated is to put ones self in their partner’s shoes.
X is for eXcitement : No one likes boring. So imagine how suffocated one might feel in a boooooring relationship. It is important that each person in a relationship occasionally add some excitement to their life. There is no set excitement quideline that one has to follow. Partners already know each other so the option is theirs to do whatever rocks their relationship to make it exciting.
Y is for YIN and YANG – In life we have to complement each other. One has to be the water and the other the fire…if not there will be problems.
Z is for ZEAL : In order for any relationship to work, one must have an ardent interest that surrounds pursuit of a better relationship by maintaining their relationship goals .
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP !!