Have you ever stop to wonder what makes a relationship work. Do you ever wonder why is it that some couples can build  decades together while some cant? Maintaining  a relationships is  not  always  easy. Most successful ones thrive on more  than just  love. It is not a matter of people being made for each other but  whether they want to continue being together and most importantly; what they do to stay together. I admire my grandparents who are in their late 80s and  have  been  married  for  over  five  decades. In fact, when I grow up, I want to be like them.  Below is a successful relationship alphabetized.

A is for APPRECIATION: Everyone  likes to be told and shown some form of appreciation outside of a birthday or Christmas. One can show their partner appreciation for the smallest of things. Appreciative gestures  do not cost much. In fact, many of them are totally free.


B is for BENEVOLENCE  Couples  should  continuously  display genuine  compassion, consideration, cooperation  and  kindness  towards  each  other  without any self benefits to be derived.

C is for CONSISTENCY  : In  order for relationships to be successful, consistency  is the key. I’m not talking about being consistently inconsistent . I’m talking about consistently doing whatever makes your partner happy, contented, loved and appreciated.

D is for DEMONSTRATION.  There is a saying that one  has to model how they want to be treated. This is true in any relationship.  If a  person wants their partner to treat them in a certain way they sometimes have to first show them how  it  is  done. Do not take it for granted that the other person knows exactly  how  you  want  to  be  treated or can read your mind.

E if for EQUALITY : Some men  and  women  believe  that  since  God  ordained  the  man  to  be  the  head  of  the  house  then  the  female  takes  second place.  Well, I’ve  got  news  for  you. No partner  is  greater  than  the  other.  Each  should  be  treated  fairly and  have equal status,  rights  and  responsibilities in  the  relationship as  we  are  now living   in the  21st Century.

F is FORGIVENESS : Baggage is often heavy. Yet, many of us insist  on holding on to them in our relationships. Once this happens, it will only make both parties miserable and pull apart. Therefore, if one partner falls out of line then the correct thing to do is to let go of the situation, forgive the person and move on together, if it is that you truly wants the relationship to work. Remember, no one is perfect.

G is for GODLINESS:  God should the head of every household and by  extension, every relationship. He should be the main pillar or stone of which every relationship is built. Through practicing  godliness,  God  will  influence  the  love  we  show  our  significant  other and  help  us  to  pursue   his will  in the relationship. The  family  that  prays  together,  stays  together.

H is for HABITUATION  :  Everyone has flaws. No one is perfect.  As a result, each  individual should make a  concerted effort to get accustom to some of their significant other’s flaws. I know some flaws or habits can be overbearing, but who doesn’t have them. It makes no sense we complain about them daily. Do you believe that all your  family  members,  friends or  co workers like all  your  practices or habits NO! However,  not  everyone  will  simply  give  up  on  you because of  your  flaws.

I is for INDULGENCE :  Have you ever seen how wine or  chocolate  lovers  indulge  themselves  in  fine  wine  or  luscious chocolate? Well,  the  same  is  for  a  relationship. Whenever partners indulge each other, not  only  will  their  “ship”  and  life  be happier  but  also  healthier as  one less  stress  a  day  keeps  the  doctor  away. Partners  can  indulge  themselves  in  a  relationship  by  spoiling  each  other  and  be  willing to  give  up certain  wants and  needs  to make  their  partner  happy, comfortable  and  feel  loved and  appreciated.

J is for JUSTIFICATION. It’s human nature to worry or become overly concerned. Therefore, our actions should reflect certain tendencies that will not cause our significant other to worry or become suspicious. Our actions  and  words  should  also be  a  true  reflection of  who  we  really are.   In  doing  this, partners do not  have  to  second  guess  each other’s motive  or  acquire  investigative  journalism  skills  to  see  if  the  other  is  speaking  the  truth  or  acting  in  accordance  with  their  expectations whenever  they  are  out  of  sight.


K is for KITTENISH:  All relationships should be lively.  Even if you are together for decades, both persons in the relationship  have to keep up that liveliness. It doesn’t hurt to flirt with your significant other as this can help to keep the love flames burning.

L is for  LOYALTY: Your partner should  be  your  ride  or  die  chick. Each  person  in  the  relationship  should  always  feel  as  if  they  have  the  support  of the other, no  matter  what.  This  is  why  in  the  court  of  law  a husband  and  wife,  in  most  instances,  cannot  testify  against  each  other. Too  often  in  relationships  we  do  not  have  each  others  back but  that  of  our  friends.

M is for MOTIVATOR : Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader.  He or she should always be there willing you to go on even when you have doubts.

N is for NEWNESS :Most  persons  are  more  appreciative  of  something  when  it  is  new.  Have  you  ever  seen  how  a  man  cherishes  his  brand  new  car  or  how  a  female  dotes on her new  heels? For  some,  the  most  memorable  part  of  the  relationship  is  when  both  persons met and  they  felt  brand  new.  However, when  the  newness  in  the  relationship  wears  off,  life  together  becomes  a  routine. Partners should  make a concerted effort to show  each  other  the  same  amount  of  attention  and  love  like  they  did  when  they  first  met.  This is  important if  they want to  keep up  that  sense  of  newness  that  they  experience  when  they  first  met.

O is for OPTIMISM  : No one wants to be around someone who is like an airbag filled with negativity.  Even if the light at the end of the tunnel is not visible, both partners have to believe in each other that every step forward will take them closer to the light.

P is for  PERSERVERANCE : There are some folks who do not believe that when they fall they should brush themselves off and try again. This is evident in some relationships where at the first sign of a disagreement, one person is ready to sever ties. Relationships  do  not  work  like  this. As previously stated, a relationship takes a lot of work. It’s not a one shot where you  get  it  right  the  first  time. You sometimes have to take multiple shots and misses before your get it right.


Q is for QUALIFIED.  IF you are administering an injection then one should  be in the medical field. Therefore, if one is in a relationship you should seek to have the attributes that make you  qualified  to  be  in one. One cannot bear the name and not play the game. So word of advice, do things for your partner that only a partner should do. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT think of a particular job or activity to be that of his mother or her father’s job. Both of your are  in  that ship together not family or friends.

R is for RESPECT:  Respect bigots  respect. When there  is  a  shortage of respect  in  a  relationship  it  leads  to  resentment  and  other  negative  things which  further  leads  to a breakdown  in  your  ship. Often times  we  take  our  significant  other  for  granted  and  show  everyone  but  them  respect.

S is for SATISFACTION : The number  one  problem  in  most  relationships  is  that some persons can  never  be  satisfied whether  it  be  sexually or  with  the  person they  have. They  always  want more  and  believe  that they  can  always  get better. This tendency often  causes  one  or  both  partners  to  be  constantly  looking  over  the  fence  in  search  of  greener  grass.  What  they  don’t  know  is  that  their   grass, no  matter  how  dry  it  is,  has  the  ability  to  become green, if  they  spend  time watering  it.  Word  of  advice, not  every  thing  that  glitters  is  gold.  Therefore, let’s try and  mould  our  partner into  what we  want he or  she  to  become. 


T is for TRUSTWORTHINESS :  Trust  is  one  of  the  main  ingredients  in  any  relationship.  Therefore,  each  partner should  display  the  ability   to  always  be  relied  on  as  being  honest.  Once trust  is  lost ,  it  can  never  be  regained  80%  of  the  time.


U is for UBIQUITOUS  : Whew! This one is difficult but we have to try and balance our life, which relies  heavily on having the ability to multi-task.  Often times partners pay attention to everything and everyone else but their spouse. However, no matter how burdened you are  with work or household  chores, you have to focus on your significant other . We cannot put them aside for later until the task at hand is completed or after an  objective is met. Remember,  if  you  don’t  do  it,  someone  else  will.



V is for VENT : In every  relationship partners  will  have  disagreements. If  not,  then  I  guess  that,  that  relationship  is  too  good  to  be  true. Rather  than  keep your frustration, anger  or  annoyance  bottled  up  inside,   it is  good  to  talk  about  it  with  your  significant  other. Do  not  always run  to  friends  or  family  members with  every  problem  that  arises  with  your  partner.  Talk  with  your  partner  and  say  what  you  think  or  feel  then  discuss  the  way  forward.



W is for WISDOM. It seems as if this attribute has become extinct or dormant. However,  persons in a relationship should seek to activate  this  rare gem.  Once this is done, both partners will be able to make logical decisions and think of their partner before they act. Sometimes all this takes to be activated is to put ones self in their partner’s shoes.

X is for eXcitement : No one  likes boring. So imagine  how  suffocated one  might  feel  in  a  boooooring  relationship. It  is   important that each  person  in  a  relationship occasionally  add some  excitement  to  their  life.  There is  no  set excitement quideline that  one  has  to follow.  Partners already  know  each  other  so  the  option  is  theirs  to  do  whatever  rocks  their  relationship to  make  it  exciting.

Y is for YIN and YANG –  In life  we have to complement each other. One has to be the water and the other the fire…if not there will be problems.

Z is for ZEAL : In order for any relationship  to work, one must have an ardent interest that surrounds pursuit  of  a  better  relationship  by maintaining  their  relationship  goals .







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